Rev. Fr. Alexander Zammit, MSSP
‘The memory of the scorching heat of April upon my arrival in the Philippines, while hopelessly looking for familiar faces waiting for me at the airport, is probably the clearest memory of my first weeks in the country. Looking for familiarity is probably an immediate instinct when “otherness” hits us in the face. It took me some quiet time to stop looking for familiarity and to start embracing the newness and uniqueness of the Philippines. After spending four years living and studying here, I find myself in a privileged space to appreciate the view. Coming from Malta, a small European country, the size of Quezon City, I was confronted many times at the beginning of my experience at LST with the question: “Why on earth would you come to the Philippines to study theology, when you have so many well-established universities closer to home?”
I admit this question haunted me for a while. However, I can now appreciate how important it was for me to “leave home” in order to do theology. Upon reflection, there is something subtly similar between ‘our claim in theology to articulate in human words the indescribable mystery of God in our life, and the force of impact of being uprooted and rooted again on the other side of the world. After the struggle and
resistance, we find ourselves on our knees, touching ground. Like Jacob after his night-long wrestle, we feel blessed but still “limping” from the experience.
What is it about my experience in the Philippines that has enriched me and my studies beyond, my expectations? If I had to sum it all up in one overarching experience, I would say that the Philippines has invited me to hold in a fruitful tension seemingly irreconcilable realities. I have found a culture that has taught me how to hold in a more fruitful tension, honesty and harmony, justice and mercy, deep-seated
hope in tragic narratives, and hidden beauty in the midst of poverty. I would consider this fruitful tension as a necessary ingredient to do a more holistic theology.
Living in the Philippines and being given the privilege ‘to engage meaningfully with its people and their stories, has allowed me to witness what values Filipinos hold in the highest regard. Such values like hospitality, a deep sense of community and resilience have enriched my theological journey, and allowed me to find God who embraces His people in the gentle manner of a compassionate mother, or the suffering Son in whom Filipinos are able to see God as a faithful companion who shares in their sufferings.
Studying theology in the Philippines has made me more sensitive to how the mystery of God is truly inseparable from the mystery of our life. I have come to see how God is more than just the object of my theological studies, He is a God who is at work in our midst. I have come to learn that doing theology is to contemplate with child-like wonder how the people of God experience Him concretely, even and most especially in the most dramatic moments of their life. In a few words, | have been given the grace to experience a truly incarnate theology.
The inescapable manifestations of poverty in the Philippines, specifically in Manila where I have lived and studied, had a considerable impact on me. I have to admit that witnessing poverty so closely triggered in me on various occasions a sense of protest, anguish and disbelief at how human beings could live in such a state of misery. There were feelings and questions which would not have been triggered had I been studying in a context more familiar to home, where poverty more generally hides in plain sight. For once, however, I have had the opportunity to escape the almost inescapable temptation of seeing myself as a “provider” of sorts, and the poor as mere recipients. My limited experiences with the poor were a very humbling theological class, where I found myself being taught by God’s people and not the other way round. These encounters have brought me to ask myself how the poor can experience God and can speak of Him as a Savior despite or rather because of their situation.
My more direct experience within LST has been especially enriching because of a variety of cultures that come together as faculty and students. What has made my theological formation “Catholic” i.e. universal, is that of discovering how one shared faith, expressed in a unique manner by every culture, and how no single image or concept is enough to express our rich theological and spiritual tradition. In the
midst of such diversity ! have come to value more the attitude of attentive listening before jumping in with my own experience or perspective. Allowing “otherness” to simply be “other”, and gradually becoming grateful for it, is an attitude that | have received as a
gift in these past years, and I carry it with me on my way back home.
My last months at LST have been a kind of journey in retrospect, like taking a few steps back to look at a canvas in its entirety. This
canvas is not and shall not be framed at the end of my theological studies, because at LST I have come to see that theology is for life.
As I embark on my journey back to Malta, it feels like leaving “home” again. I can humbly say that that which looked so foreign to me now feels somehow. “familiar,” to such an extent that I can carry it gratefully in my heart as an experience of grace.
Fr. Alex Zammit, MSSP is from Malta and belongs to the Missionary Society of St. Paul. He recently defended his thesis titled “A Matter of Grace: Imago Dei from the Perspective of Corporeality and Other Essays.”
